The Exploits of Quartz and bobdaduck

[Quartz]

Quartz and bobdaducks' Grand Misadventures
This should've been invented a long time ago. Sorry.

Quartz: When's the next contest
bobdaduck: I have no idae
Quartz: Well, do you have an idea then?
Quartz: I didn't expect you to have an idae, I mean, who does?
Quartz: *Shakes head* Kids these days ...

Quartz: btw what map was yours'?
bobdaduck: The dungeon
Quartz: hahaha
Quartz: I love you

Quartz: Looking through my hosting history.
Quartz: hostname=[OHHH YES], hostdescr=[Don't join this, seriously.]
Quartz: Lmao what the hell
bobdaduck: lol

bobdaduck: EXCELLENT.
bobdaduck: GHOST SHIP TECHNOLOGY REAQUIRED.
bobdaduck: Beginning construction on.... THE SHIP CANNON
bobdaduck: ...right after these messages!
Quartz: Cool.
Quartz: I'll switch operating systems
bobdaduck: I'M BACK.
bobdaduck: BEGIN CONSTRUCTING THE SHIP CANNON
Quartz: Shit yes.
bobdaduck: NOT YET
bobdaduck: WAIT A MINUTE.
bobdaduck: SHEESH
bobdaduck: hosting
Quartz: Kk gimme a sec
bobdaduck: actually
bobdaduck: I needa fix
bobdaduck: brb
bobdaduck: kfixed
Quartz: SWEET
*Five minutes later*
bobdaduck: ...coming?
Quartz: oh sorry
bobdaduck: xD

bobdaduck: I'm the Semi-community coordinator.
bobdaduck: I coordinate the semi-community.
Quartz: Lol!

Quartz: sup
bobdaduck: SOUP BROH.
Quartz: idk man
Quartz: aids
bobdaduck: AIDS BROH
Quartz: awww man, not aids

bobdaduck: I love Raptor
bobdaduck: "New map!"
bobdaduck: Every time.
Quartz: HAHA
Quartz: Yeah totally

Quartz: Remember the map I made with like 1000 resource items
Quartz: Called "lagbomb" or something
Quartz: Or was it "server crash" hah
bobdaduck: rofl

[Little_Apple]

or better yet, animate it!

[bobdaduck]

Quartz:

"I'll give it a shot some time though. My method on mapmaking seems to be "have no foresight at all. Just jump in there and start doing it."
Like really
If I have no plan, the map turns out way better
That's why I haven't been able to remake Q-Party
It was made sooo sporadically that I can't replicate that"

[Quartz]

bobdaduck: I CAN TAKE YOU ALL ON
bobdaduck: the trick is basically to typekill quartz
Quartz: HAHAHA

bobdaduck: this asteroid field
Quartz: is so deadly
bobdaduck: is just too deadly
Lamp: use shield
Lamp: i did
Quartz: lmao

bobdaduck: check this out
Quartz: BEST CORE MAP EVER
bobdaduck: ikr
Quartz: btw making the cores 20x health is SO ENTERTAINING
Quartz: Automatically makes it a good map!!

[Little_Apple]

heres a gif i made. i think it belongs here.

[Quartz]

XD!! I see my past is coming back to haunt me! HAHAHA, well played Little_Apple!

------

amgine: this map sucks it's too small
Quartz: stfu
Quartz: make a better map
amgine: i have XD
bobdaduck: last I heard
bobdaduck: you thought sticking a rotating speed zone on a soccer map
bobdaduck: the exact same size as this one
bobdaduck: was a good idea
amgine: last i heard you were a immature jerk you couldnt learn to be nice.

[Quartz]

cloakdood was killed by a mine laid by Quartz
cloakdood: quartz wtf
Quartz: Sorry busy getting my Mine Accuracy up to 95%
Quartz: All from teamkilling cloakdood
bobdaduck: lol
cloakdood: oic
cloakdood was killed by a mine laid by Quartz
bobdaduck: lol

Get a room you two...

[Quartz]

sky don't be jealous of our bromance

bobdaduck: I understand now
bobdaduck: its a true dungeon
bobdaduck: because its a challenge
Quartz: lmao
bobdaduck: you try to end the map as fast as possible
Quartz: HAAH

[Little_Apple]

DO NOT DISTURB QUARTZ AS HE EATS HIS CARROTS

[Quartz]

*bobdaduck showing off an exploit*

raptor: uh.. is this a bug i need to fix?
Quartz: NO
bobdaduck: NO
bobdaduck: INTENDED FUNCTIONALITY.

[Quartz]

[05:47] <bobdaduck> le Quartz joins the channel
[05:47] <bobdaduck> This rocks.
[05:47] <Quartz> ... lmao
[05:47] <bobdaduck> The channel is now diamonds.
[05:47] <Quartz> Anything is possible
[05:47] <Quartz> When you're with Quartz.
[05:47] <Quartz>
[05:47] * raptor cannot follow conversations between Quartz and bobdaduck

[14:19] <bobdaduck> I'm a psychologist and I get lost in analyzing the dynamics of the drama
[14:19] <Quartz_> xD yup
[14:19] <bobdaduck> takes me like days to sort through it so I tend to avoid it xD
14:20] <bobdaduck> DO YOU REALIZE HOW MANY FACTORS EXIST IN HUMAN INTERACTION?
[14:20] <Quartz_> millions
[14:20] <bobdaduck> I HAVE TO LOOK AT EVERY SINGLE ONE.
[14:20] <@raptor> ONE: food now or die
[14:20] <bobdaduck> rofl
[14:20] <Quartz_> TWO: sex now or die
[14:20] <bobdaduck> THREE: Dubstep.

[Quartz]

bobdaduck: There was a [BOT] clan?
Quartz: Yeah there were like 3 of us, including myself.
Quartz: It wasn't really a clan, just some losers.
Quartz: Oh wait, that's every Zap clan.
bobdaduck: rofl

Quartz: map is glorious
bobdaduck: dude
Quartz: the C map can't save it all
Quartz: that's how glorious it is
bobdaduck: rofl
bobdaduck: THERE IS NO SOLACE FROM THE NEON

[Quartz]

Opti: you made bro?
Otpi: *mad
bobdaduck: he's made
Quartz: U made?!
bobdaduck: he's so made
Quartz: I'm made…
bobdaduck: Quartz is made.
Opti: Hes is very, very made.
Quartz: Madely.
Quartz: You wish you had my body
bobdaduck: He's made for your body.

-----

About my map Serpentine-

bobdaduck: this map
bobdaduck: is bloody amazing
Quartz: thx yo
bobdaduck: no really
bobdaduck: this is probably the best zone control map I have ever seen.

Quartz: this map got me laid
bobdaduck: curvy maps get girls
bobdaduck: you heard it here first

-----

Quartz: The hardest [bitFighter level art style] is definitely Chess by Hamster
Quartz: Fucking beautiful, too
bobdaduck: rofl
bobdaduck: what?
Quartz: as in, most hideous map ever what the hell
bobdaduck: rofl
bobdaduck: Okay
bobdaduck: Just making sure
Quartz: You can't even see anything that's happening…

MOAR.

a. more

b. that thread with me in it is fake.

c dont ivlove incocent people.

4. be nice to bobaduck XD

[Quartz]

b. that thread with me in it is fake.

Hahahahahahahahahahah

No.

------

Quartz: so raptor last night made me excited
Quartz: ...that sounded bad... umm
bobdaduck: How so?
bobdaduck: That sounds bad.
bobdaduck: xD
Quartz: okay so
Quartz: He was testing a server function
Quartz: of disabling team switching ;D
Quartz: AND
Quartz: He was like "yeah so for 019 we're thinking of making deco walls show for all teams"
Quartz: AND
Quartz: he says both my maps are in
bobdaduck: lol
bobdaduck: nice!
Quartz: He was like, fucking Moses last night or something
Quartz: Delivering all sorts of good news
bobdaduck: rofl
Quartz: ...or something
Quartz: excuse my bad metaphors
bobdaduck: xDD
bobdaduck: No that was awesome
Quartz: Thanks lol

lol.....

(and yes it was)

[bobdaduck]

Here's two from Little_Apple I enjoyed:

"I'm back and more racist than ever!"
"We should have bitfighter played competitively. With prizes, and hairy chests."

[Quartz]

"I'm back and more racist than ever!"

That's gold.

Also, you seem to be forgetting Little_Apple's claim that
"/getmap sooo hard should be a stock map."

Opti: Because this map is made by bob, It is automatically offensive to anyone with two dicks.
Bobdaduck: Wat.
Quartz: Wat.
Little_Apple: So thats why I was offended...
Quartz: LOL
Opti: XD
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Also,
(On the subject of /getmap sooo hard)
Opti: YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS SOOO HARD?
Quartz: My wood in the morning?
Opti: YOU GUESSED IT! MY DI- pet rock.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And lets not forget..
Opti: Bitfighter, Home the most mentally stable community in the universe.
Little_Apple: Shazbot!

bobdaduck: I CAN TAKE YOU ALL ON
bobdaduck: the trick is basically to typekill quartz
Quartz: HAHAHA

bobdaduck: this asteroid field
Quartz: is so deadly
bobdaduck: is just too deadly
Lamp: use shield
Lamp: i did
Quartz: lmao

bobdaduck: check this out
Quartz: BEST CORE MAP EVER
bobdaduck: ikr
Quartz: btw making the cores 20x health is SO ENTERTAINING
Quartz: Automatically makes it a good map!!

Wait... THATS MY MAP!!! THATS MY VERY FIRST MAP!!! Wait... THATS MY SERVER!!! THATS MY VERY FIRST SERVER!!! Wait... THATS ME!!! THATS MY VERY FIRST ME!!!

I remember you were hiding in that spot

[Quartz]

<Playing RTS, Quartz can be seen constantly mining resource items>
Quartz: unf
bobdaduck: yes I know
Quartz: I can't believe I was the first one to think of that.
Quartz: Well, then again I guess everyone in this community is like 12 so...
bobdaduck: was gonna say
bobdaduck: You're the only one here who's still 12 so
bobdaduck: of course you thought of it
Quartz:
Quartz: hahaha

------

bobdaduck: You available for playtesting?
Quartz: Gimme a sec
Quartz: I GOTTA POOP
bobdaduck: A LIKELY STORY
Quartz: Rofl

[bobdaduck]

Quartz: *head spins, shoots laser beams out eyeballs. Dissolves into ash. Ascends into planar form*

Quartz:
1. Agnostic friend posts "The one person who is supposed to love me unconditionally has proved time and time again that she is my worst enemy. Thanks, Mom. Thanks."
2. I'm too much of a sissy to post that stuff in the comments because last time I did I was eaten alive by her shitty friends.
3. Post it as a status.
4. I'm soooo subtle
5. ???
6. PROPHET!!

[Quartz]

Little_Apple: aww yeah.
Little_Apple: lemmie taste that carrot
Little_Apple: so good omg
Quartz: That's what she said

[Santiago ZAP]

AHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAH
Santiago ZAP: gangnam style should be the first video aliens should see
Santiago ZAP: if they were seeking life
Little_Apple: they would think "its life, but not as we know it"
Santiago ZAP: we found life, but not intelligent one
bobdaduck: "He's dead, jim"
Santiago ZAP: LOL

[Quartz]

Quartz: Burster turrets hurt themselves now.
bobdaduck: real
Quartz: Yes.
Quartz: >_>
bobdaduck: ....Real.
Quartz: Yes.
Quartz: V_V
bobdaduck: REAL.
Quartz: YES.
Quartz: <_<
bobdaduck: WHY THE KNRL
bobdaduck: Show me
Quartz: k
Quartz: hosting
bobdaduck: okay
bobdaduck: time to rage on the IRC
[21:06] <bobdaRAGE> Seriously
[21:06] <bobdaRAGE> What were you THINKING.
[21:06] <@raptor> hi
[21:06] <@raptor> ?
[21:06] <@raptor> am I in trouble?
[21:06] <bobdaRAGE> SOMEONE sure SHOULD BE.
[21:06] <[BOT]Quartz> YES YOU'VE BEEN A BAD BOY
[21:06] <bobdaRAGE> Burster turrets now hurt themselves.
[21:07] <[BOT]Quartz> YEAH BRO
[21:07] <[BOT]Quartz> SERIOUSLY?
[21:07] <@raptor> really??
[21:07] <@raptor> hmm...
[21:07] <[BOT]Quartz> Turrets already suck nut, they don't need to suck more nut!!
[21:07] <bobdaRAGE> Seriously.
[21:07] <@raptor> you mean I fixed a bug you liked!
[21:07] <bobdaRAGE> and burster turrets were THE ONLY VIABLE TURRET.
[21:07] <bobdaRAGE> No
[21:07] <[BOT]Quartz> ^
[21:07] <bobdaRAGE> Friendly fire shouldn't even be a thing.
[21:07] <[BOT]Quartz> ^
[21:07] <@raptor> actually, I think I agree
[21:07] <@raptor> turrets should not harm themselves
[21:07] <bobdaRAGE> I don't even bother to put turrets in my levels anymore
[21:07] <bobdaRAGE> because they're that worthles
[21:08] <[BOT]Quartz> They really are pretty shit at this point. I sure don't bother much with them.
[21:08] <@raptor> unless they should follow the same rules as other projectiles?
[21:08] <[BOT]Quartz> The shield to kill them thing is insane.
[21:08] <bobdaRAGE> 2 seconds disable time with phaser and shield
[21:08] <bobdaRAGE> leaving you at 3/4ths energy
[21:08] <bobdaRAGE> like... Seriously.
[21:08] <@raptor> soo.. are you guys tag-teaming me or something?
[21:08] <[BOT]Quartz> Ya I remember in Zap if you did the Phaser + Shield + no dodging to kill a turret, you expended about 2/3 of your energy.
[21:09] <[BOT]Quartz> So all the pros would dodge and phaser
[21:09] <bobdaRAGE> Dodging isn't worth it though
[21:09] <[BOT]Quartz> But at this point you're actually better off just phaser +shielding
[21:09] <[BOT]Quartz> Yeah exactly
[21:09] <bobdaRAGE> because its eight times more effective just to charge it
[21:09] <[BOT]Quartz> More effective, much quicker, only a little more loss of energy ... yeah.
[21:09] <[BOT]Quartz> I know I for one stoppped bothering to do the dodge trick.
[21:09] <[BOT]Quartz> Now I only do it if I'm literally at zero energy
[21:10] <[BOT]Quartz> Okay so basically. Friendly fire is bad mkay?
[21:10] <@raptor> ok ok, so what your're *really* saying - we need to work on some serious balance changes
[21:10] <[BOT]Quartz> I would like that, but really, this is about *unchanging* back to Zap days
[21:10] <@raptor> ok ok
[21:10] <[BOT]Quartz> I *guess* it's a balance decision, but ehh, not really.
[21:10] * raptor gets to work
[21:11] <@raptor> I was probably the culprit with burst turrets problem
[21:11] <@raptor> when fixing the mine/spybug problems
[21:12] <[BOT]Quartz> Strange.
[21:12] <bobdaRAGE> Fixing problems is good
[21:12] <bobdaRAGE> This is making problems, not fixing them.
[21:12] <bobdaRAGE> OKAY /RAGE
[21:12] == bobdaRAGE has changed nick to bobdaduck
[21:12] <[BOT]Quartz> hahahah

[Quartz]

Quartz: okay sky seriously how old are you?
sky_lark: I'm whatever age you want me to be *seductive*
Quartz: oh shit
Quartz:
Quartz: In that case sky, you are now an 8 year old girl.
bobdaduck: mmmmmm
sky_lark: WHAT THE FUCK
sky_lark: this got dark quickly

[Quartz]

Quartz: I'm really hungry. Going to lunch. Replies will slow. Word up, yo
bobdaduck: Oy! Word down.
bobdaduck: If gays weren't so gay about being gay, then MAYBE people wouldn't be so gay about it all the time!

-----

bobdaduck: What's the level you use to crash kaen test?
Quartz: I have several
Quartz: Ummmm...
Quartz: Did you see Lamp's post on the forums about the teleporter delay?
bobdaduck: yeah
Quartz: I might have seen that and immediately figured out a new way to crash a server
bobdaduck: rofl did you?
Quartz: Yes
Quartz: I'm gonna piss off raptor today for the lulz
Quartz: Be like "hey raptor check this out"
Quartz: He'll get back to the server menu
Quartz: with his usual
Quartz: "WHAT"
bobdaduck: rofl
bobdaduck: Make sure to invite me xD
Quartz: hahahah okay cool

[Quartz]

Quartz: go f**k a duck
bobdaduck: lol
Quartz: oh … this is awkward
raptor: what a first liner to see upon entering
Quartz: rofl

[13:30] <bobdaduck> raptorlol
[13:30] <bobdaduck> lol
[13:30] <Quartzy_> raptorlol
[13:30] <Quartzy_> You should rename yourself that.
[13:30] <Quartzy_> "raptorlol"
[13:30] == raptor has changed nick to raptorlol

[bobdaduck]

Quartz: I love bitfighter
Quartz: No politics and shit
Quartz: Except for BlackBird
Quartz: Should probably lynch him

bobdaduck: Free?
Quartz: No.
bobdaduck: Bah!
Quartz: $20
Quartz: Rofl loserrrr
bobdaduck: Loser? I'M NOT THE ONE WASTING MY MONEY
Quartz: Are you a Mormon or a Jew, dammit!!
bobdaduck: rofl

[Quartz]

sky_lark: and bobdaduck I hate you
Quartz: who doesn't? He's a Mormon.
bobdaduck: rofl

Quartz: and all the other boys
Quartz: are tryin' to rape me
Quartz: but here's my number
Quartz: so call me maybe
invader alex: you know what is a joke?
Quartz: rape?
invader alex: not rape
Quartz: rofl

[Quartz]

*RTS loads up, 8 players total. Quartz and bobdaduck are on Green team together*
cloakdood: ATTACK GREEN FIRST

[Little_Apple]

>green wins anyways

[bobdaduck]

bobdaduck:Okay so what I need you to do
bobdaduck:Is make a completely serious thread
bobdaduck:debating whether or not bitfighter has a drug problem
Quartz:Haha wat
bobdaduck:yeah
bobdaduck:This very important
bobdaduck:Needs to be at least 2 pages long, double spaced, APA format
Quartz:Rofl

[kaen]

<bobdaduck> Alright then
<bobdaduck> Time machine.
<bobdaduck> I'll have it done a month ago.

[bobdaduck]

bobdaduck: Don't get me wrong
bobdaduck: I like having fangirls as much as the next guy
bobdaduck: but sometimes I want to actually DO things, y'know?

[Quartz]

Quartz: Today for some reason
Quartz: I could see that the beach and the ocean was covered in super low fog
Quartz: dense, too.
Quartz: But it was clear further up the hill
Quartz: Sent a picture to my dad
Quartz: "Let's go skiing!"
Quartz: just wow xD
bobdaduck: lol
Quartz: Worst idea ever...
Quartz: Actually it's such a bad idea, it might work
Quartz: Because no one else would be out
bobdaduck: rofl

-----

Quartz: I'm digging this [message] from October 18 2012
Quartz: "Tim French:
You look Queer
Your buddies look Queer"
bobdaduck: rofl

-----

bobdaduck: brb lucnhasdfn
bobdaduck: lucnh
bobdaduck: luch
bobdaduck: /ragequit
Quartz: rofl

[kaen]

<bobdaduck> I don't think I'd be willing to do that unless someone else did it for me.

[Quartz]

bobdaduck: deployRes
bobdaduck: deployRes
bobdaduck: deployRes
bobdaduck: deployRes
bobdaduck: deployRes
Quartz: deploySexyDucks
bobdaduck: YOU CALLED?

[Quartz]

kaen: >implying dnd could be cooler than bubblegum wars

[Quartz]

bobdaduck: buy out minecraft
bobdaduck: ???
bobdaduck: prophet!
bobdaduck: I SWEAR THAT SOUNDED OKAY IN MY HEAD
bobdaduck: ~profit
quartzlcc: ...wat xD

[bobdaduck]

<bobdaduck> That's about the time I became crazy
<kaen> well
<Skybax> Haha
-*- raptor vouches for that fact
<kaen> about the time it materialized anyway...
<raptor> oh yeah...
<bobdaduck> lol
<kaen> I'm sure there was a gradual degradation of your sanity at first
<kaen> and then it snapped when you got into levelgens
<bobdaduck> rofl
<kaen> I've never before met anyone who so completely met the description of mad genius

skybax: Why is this health pack following me?
bobdaduck: uh, it likes you.

skybax: Now there is a speed boost chasing me!
bobdaduck: It likes you too
skybax: I HAVE SO MANY THINGS FOLLOWING ME

[Quartz]

Skybax: I haven't died
Quartz: Sure thing bud.
Quartz: I saw you die dude.
Quartz: …twice
Skybax: no
Skybax: only once at the start
Skybax: that didn't count
Quartz: …yeahhh sure
Quartz: Whatever helps you sleep at night bud.
bobdaduck: Quartz is the only one with a positive kd…

On map: TRON
Lamp: hey u kno wat
Lamp: this looks like lightbike
bobdaduck: GG
bobdaduck: LAMP WINS
Lamp: the game
Lamp: u know lightbike?
bobdaduck: lamp just won like everything
Quartz: LMAO
Lamp: u on a grid with a bike that doesnt stop and it makes a barrier as u go and u cannot hit the barrier
bobdaduck: rofl
Lamp: and thers multiple players
Lamp: thats lightbike
bobdaduck: lamp just wins… so much…

[Quartz]

bobdaduck: Working on another masterpiece
bobdaduck: With ohhhh man this levelgen mechanic is dicey
Quartz: almost as dicey as when you sleep for 4 hours and then
Quartz: a fly
Quartz: attacks your ears
bobdaduck: rofl
bobdaduck: what
Quartz: yeah. that's dicey
bobdaduck: xDD

[Skybax]

I had only died once!

[Quartz]

Quartz: You're theorizing that's why some guys are attracted to tomboys.
Quartz: Yes?
Quartz: ...YES?!
Quartz: I WANT TO KNOW, OKAY?!
Quartz: xD
Quartz: HOW DARE YOU NOT REPLY FOR LIKE, FOUR MINUTES.
bobdaduck: sorr
bobdaduck: xD
Quartz: SORR. WELL YOU'D BETTER BE SORR.
bobdaduck: rofl
Quartz: Kept me hanging that long?! I COULD'VE HAD A HEART ATTACK.
Quartz: And you call yourself a Mormon ... Hmph.
bobdaduck: Its k
bobdaduck: Mormon powers will revive you
Quartz: The only excuse for you to take that long to reply would be if you were riding up to my doorstep on a bicycle to give me the good news of Jesus Christ!
Quartz: But noooo, here you are, right back online Facebook.
Quartz: Pff.
bobdaduck: I'm from my phone
Quartz: Well you'd darn well better be in a suit and riding a bicycle then too!
bobdaduck: but biking to your house is taking a while k?
Quartz: Yeah okay. Fine.

[Santiago ZAP]

On map: TRON
Lamp: hey u kno wat
Lamp: this looks like lightbike
bobdaduck: GG
bobdaduck: LAMP WINS
Lamp: the game
Lamp: u know lightbike?
bobdaduck: lamp just won like everything
Quartz: LMAO
Lamp: u on a grid with a bike that doesnt stop and it makes a barrier as u go and u cannot hit the barrier
bobdaduck: rofl
Lamp: and thers multiple players
Lamp: thats lightbike
bobdaduck: lamp just wins… so much…

I lost my shit here

lol, these are funny, Put It On YouTube.

[Quartz]

Quartz: You wrestle with a pig, you're gonna get dirty.
Quartz: /eats own feces
FoOtloOse: why.
Little_Apple: wrestle with quartz, and you get vaseline all over you
Quartz: ^

-------

lol, these are funny, Put It On YouTube.

Like, dramatic readings, or what? I could actually do that, if people want.